I was privileged to be a part of the Phelps School Commencement Experience this past weekend. Phelps is a private school for boys in Malvern, PA. As part of the weekend I prepared a presentation for Friday evening that was to conclude their senior speeches, and a commencement address for Saturday. I had worked with the Headmaster, Mike Reardon, for several weeks in preparation. Over coffee one Saturday earlier in the spring we had a chance to meet for a couple of hours to get to know each other, and for him to educate me on the schools mission and vision, and on the events of this particular school year. Mike continued to educate me via email with background information. (A side note: amazing how helpful it is for a presenter when those bringing you in take the time to really educate you on their current and desired state!)
We often present at conferences, and we pride ourselves on preparing something that is custom-matched to the needs of the group. Sure, it draws upon the base of work, but we don’t simply use the same speech or presentation countless times–sure would be easier if we did! But I just don’t think that a stock presentation would allow you to really connect with the group. So, in this case I worked hard to prepare a PowerPoint that would offer the young men a sticky message, and I tried to do so using quotes and pictures. I also tried to use my own experiences to try and breakthrough whatever sense they might have that “successful” people that give commencement addresses were born that way–that is, successful–and that they must have known what they wanted to do, been good at, and that luck or talent must be the secret.
I’ve been to a lot of school events, but I must say that I don’t think I’ll ever forget the Senior Speeches at Phelps. For the Senior Speeches, each student shares their journey to Phelps and what they have learned through Phelps. They also share their thanks with the family, teachers, and friends who have provided support and challenge during their journey. They present their speech to the entire school body during the week, and then on Friday before graduation they share them with their senior classmates and their parents and loved ones. The speeches I observed were simply amazing. They were heartfelt, honest, self-reflective, and courageous. They were very emotional, with many of the young men crying during their speeches, and many more crying for one another as they listened. It wasn’t an emotional arms race; some were light and even humorous. Each, without exception, was an authentic and real sharing of the real self. For that brief period of time all the vestiges of “fake self” were gone. All posturing–all pretending that they didn’t care, weren’t nervous, that they knew it all, that they didn’t need help–it was all gone.
In our work we have identified 4 KEY strategies that make for powerful educational rituals and practices, : Self-Study, Other-Study, Public Performance/Presentation, and Support & Challenge. When these occur individually you have a good practice; when they are strategically combined you get a powerful, defining, or what we call “signature practice.” Preparing the speech required a powerful Self-Study, which was followed by a Public Performance/Presentation, shared within a Community that was Safe and Supportive. As each person shared their Self-Study in a Public Performance/Presentation, they each received a powerful Other-Study on the Phelps Way, and on what it means to be a man of character willing to pursue “truth without fear,” which is the Phelps Motto. I believe that technically speaking the 4 KEYS structure is what made the speeches work. But, it was clearly the fidelity with which they were carried out that made such a lasting impression last Friday.
I was deeply impressed by the experience, and the students and staff at Phelps should be tremendously proud of this important and powerful tradition. I was truly humbled by what I observed. For those interested, here’s a link to the PDF of the PPT and script from which I worked. https://backup.filesanywhere.com/fs/v.aspx?v=8969688e586675a76e9e
